At the start of 2021, I chose "light" as my word of the year. 2020 had been a heavy year for our family. I needed a word that evoked levity, joy, hope.
Call it foolish, call it futile, / say flamboyant if you dare. / As for me, I’ll call it radiance,
Where can we get a baby? / my son asks, his blue eyes piercing / in the morning's heel.
One of my favorite Bible stories is that of Mary Magdalene at the empty tomb. Her grief still fresh and sharp, she believes a visit to Jesus’ burial site promises a private space to mourn. But when Mary arrives, the stone has been rolled away. The perfume still lingers, but the grave is empty, save … Continue reading Eyes for Easter
It’s my birthday. As I write, I am wondering what wisdom I have to share after 35 revolutions 'round the sun. Probably something about motherhood or paying attention. Or how to listen, how to make peace with your body, how to spot a seed of faith in a field of doubt. Those are essays I’ll write someday,
"I just feel... trapped." I sigh this into my phone for what must be the 200th time in 2020. My therapist’s on the other line, likely sighing alongside me. She asks what’s trapping me. It isn't one thing, rather, it's everything...
The lightning bugs are gone. They’ve been replaced by the cicadas — blaring their calls of chicka-chicka, chicka-chicka, zaazz, zaazz. There are legions of cicadas, I suspect, hiding in the evergreens that overlook our backyard and in old oaks that line our neighborhood, aptly named Forest Glen. Some other writer might romanticize their singing, but … Continue reading How to survive a pandemic without losing it
Your hands are raw from multiple washings. In the span of three days, your inbox was flooded with warnings: “School Health Update”; “Office Closure”; “Parenting in the time of Coronavirus”; “Coronavirus in preschoolers: Symptoms and what you need to know.” This is the one that scared you: “Coronavirus updates: More lockdowns are starting.” The St. … Continue reading Contagion
She // is busy // picking up // pouring out // meeting // needs.
I stand at the edge of the river, gazing out at the horizon. Azure sky and mountains and wind and sunlight surround me, threaten to engulf me. Alone on a bridge in central Washington, I listen. Rapids rush beneath me. A smattering of leaves flutter down from a distant tree. I wonder what it’s like … Continue reading Faith and doubt